The flip side of loving you

I wake up engulfed in the aromas of spicy ginger and sweet cardamom wafting through the air. I wonder if this is something you've ever woken up to.

I know what makes your heart swell, what drives you up the wall, what makes your lips gently break into a smile. But I don't know if you like fries or mash with your steak. Do you have a pair of socks for every day of the week and do you button down the collars of your shirts? And when there's something you wish to commit to memory, do you take mental notes or tap your screen 140 times or less... or more.

I know how many times you've had your heart broken and how many hearts still beat for you. I know about the rivers of disappointment you've swum through and all the clouds that you someday want to kiss. But I don't know if you could sleep through a hurricane or does it take just the sound of leaves rustling in the breeze to wake you up. Do you tap your fingers on the table when you're bored or nervous or plain happy? And when you reach home at night, what is the first thing you do, each night, every night.

I know what went through your mind the night you first held your baby girl. And I know the desperation you felt when someone you loved breathed their last in your arms. But I don't know whether your eyes light up when you read the words I type. And do you close your eyes and sigh each time we say goodnight.

I know what's on your wish list for the next decade or so, and I know that none of them include me. I know that you will grow old without me by your side, maybe even without my number in your phone book. But I just don't know if you like the way sand feels between your toes or if you flinch just before the needle punctures your skin.

What I'd give to know all this and more...

The Cloudcutter

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