Music not only inspires me, it also fuels me and eggs me on. It gives me a reason to wake up each morning and helps me piece myself together as I face another day. Every momentous occasion in my life has always had something to do with music, and the songs remain strung together in my memory like a soundtrack to the story of my life.

When I was nine, I was sent to boarding school. It was a huge change in my life and with the initial fear and nervousness came a whole lot of excitement and anticipation. Yet, all the Enid Blyton books I had read since I was 6 or 7 hadn’t prepared me for what I was about to go through. At the end of the first year I was so miserable that I pleaded with my parents to bring me back home. I don’t recall much of the discussion that followed but I clearly remember how the negotiations ended. My mom said if I was willing to go back to school she would give me my own little tape recorder or two-in-one, as they were called back then. And I agreed. As simple as that.

I think I really believed that it would change things. Maybe just for that moment, I thought my life at boarding school would be much better if I could listen to my music anytime I wanted. I probably didn’t realise then that there was a much bigger and better music system at home, where I was loved and protected and not ridiculed and bullied. And I probably regretted it when I went back to school and faced a few more hurdles. But every time I was bored and alone I would find me a quiet spot in that big old school and listen to my scratchy old tapes over and over. And at the end of each day, I would set the volume on my player to minimum and put it under my pillow (I did not have headphones) and sleep to the sounds streaming from under my head. The rest of the days were like before, filled with overwhelming challenges for a quiet and painfully shy kid uprooted from a familiar (even if not safe) environment.

I do believe the music helped me though, because I went back to school and jumped right in. I wasn’t a scared, mousey little girl anymore. I stood up for myself, made my presence felt and learned how to enjoyed myself. I realise that life would have been different if I was raised at home but I’m glad I was sent away. It changed me for life. If I had kids, I would never send them to boarding school but I’m still glad I went. I’m glad my Mom bought me that silver National Panasonic two-in-one. I still have it. It doesn’t work anymore but I still listen to the music it used to play back then.