On Tuesday night, just as I finished posting on my blog, I had the weirdest feeling. My vision went all blurred, my ears felt hot and I could feel the blood draining from my head. At first I thought it was one of those dizzy spells that lasts for half a second, thanks to old friends like cervical spondylitis and vertigo. But the sensation just kept intensifying and with each passing second I felt like I was blacking out. Which soon led me to panic since I was home alone and it was late at night. I quickly switched off my laptop and tried to get to the intercom to call a friend who lives in my building.

A couple of minutes later, I was staring at my toes and wondering what my behind was doing sticking to the cold, hard floor. I seemed to have crumbled to the floor on my way out! And even as my eyes now felt like disco lights, I couldn't help smiling a little as I picked myself up and automatically rushed to the loo (what is with dizzy spells and the bathroom?). Just as the dizziness reached a crescendo I felt the urge to both crap and puke at the same time!
I guess years of having gastroenteritis as a kid seemed to have seasoned me and I managed to first crap (in the potty) and then puke (in the sink) in record time and without making a mess. Mission accomplished... or so I thought. I went to bed thinking the dizzy spell was my body's way of letting me I know I just need to get rid of some toxins before bed. I had no idea what was to follow the next day.

From horrendous waves of nausea to the loosest of motions, with a kickass backache and the mother of all headaches thrown in. Not to forget the fever and chills for company. It had been a long time since I was sick as a dog, but I wasn't too happy about reliving those moments again. From the cheese spread way past its expiry date for breakfast when I was 8 to the fried mince and dal at a college friend's place for lunch when I was 18, I remembered it all. The continuous puking of everything including a sip of water and then some, the continuous crapping of absolutely nothing (where do those fluids come from when you haven't eaten in 24 hours?) and the completely drained out feeling of lying in bed with your eyes shut and your mouth open and head somewhere on the streets of Barcelona surrounded by the magic of Gaudi. (I think when I was younger it was the yellow brick road from the Wizard of Oz. Not very different I suppose!)

Thankfully this time there was no being rushed to the hospital and being put on an intravenous drip (that I'm sure would have garnered me more sympathy... Oh you poor thing, on drips! It's so huge here in India, it's not funny. It's like being on a ventilator for some folks.) So there I was lying in bed, home alone as usual, feeling a little delirious and pensive all at once. I would swing between texting my perpetually travelling brother because I may never see him again and making some really important life-altering decisions, none of which I can remember now! I also wasn't sure whether to be happy or worried about losing 4 kilos in 24 hours... hmmm I'm still not sure but my doctor's made that decision for me already. "Very bad! If you don't regain that weight in 3 or 4 days we'll have to do something about it!." Now that I am definitely not happy about. I thought it was a cool way to lose all the excess baggage from the trip to Bangalore!

So now, four days later, after drinking loads of electral and eating a bushelful of apples and more curd-rice than I care for (yuck!), I haven't regained any of the lost weight (yeah!), the nausea is long gone and the strength is on its way back (which goes without saying or else you wouldn't be reading this saga) but the loosies are still lurking around. My poor tummy seems to have suffered irreparable damage this time. Anyway, I've decided it makes more sense to follow my maid's home remedies than let the stupid doc (who is always stuck in traffic when I need her!) keep yanking my chain. So I've just chewed on two teaspoons of roasted poppy seeds instead of taking two Lomotil. And as long as I don't have to take a drug test, I think I should be fine and back to blogging about some other mundane nonsense in my life.
The things I have to do to while away the time until I get myself a beautiful brown dog and take off to the mountains.