For once, I can blame this on fate. It's nobody's fault and yet, it's the hardest bloody thing to deal with. But like that quote above, I need to play this hand extremely well. Rotten cards, bad luck, tough times and all...

Yes, something's happened. No, I'm not ready to talk about it. But I will say this - it's the worst thing I've ever had to deal with thus far. Looking back now, I'd go through each one of those tough times of the past a million times over. Just to blank this one out, just to make sure that this one didn't have to happen. Whether it was being abused as a child, or being bedridden for a year in my early 20s, or going temporarily deaf in my early 30s, or having my marriage break up recently. I'd go through them all again. Again and again. In retrospect, none of them amount to a hill of beans. They were all, possibly, just setting me up for what I have to deal with now.

I am distraught. I am broken. I am frozen with fear. But one thing's for sure - this time I will fight harder and stronger and longer than I ever have. I will.