One morning, while brushing my teeth, I started thinking about how we’re always trying to people to fit into our own little moulds. We expect them to come to us with a clean slate and no baggage, and definitely no fingerprints of the other people they’ve been with. Why is it so important for the other person, whether a friend, a potential partner, or even an employee, to be composed of exactly what we think we know and want? And if that person has been with someone we don’t approve of, we are quick to cross them off our lists and move on to finding the perfect candidate.

It often happens that we really like someone and later find out things in their past that are unsavoury. I am, of course, referring to trivial issues and not heinous acts and crimes. So what happens then? We start to force open rusty old locks on doors that have long since been shut and even moved to a parallel universe. And in the process, forget everything that the person has come to mean to us including the value they’ve added to our lives.

I believe that we are the sum of all our experiences and interactions with everyone over the years. So if you like me now, it’s because of all the people I’ve known and everything I’ve ever been through. It’s all been combined into the person that I am today. The fabric of my being has been structurally altered and it will continue as long as I live.

I think the past of someone you love should matter as much as the future of a stranger. It's nothing. Not something you should be interested or concerned with, except to willingly accept it. It's what has turned them into the person they are. So why grudge anyone or anything from their past?

We often meet important people at the crossroads in our lives and if we’re lucky, we are able to meet them with open arms. Then we walk with them down the chosen road for as long as we want, and as long as the Universe allows us. If and when we part, it should also be with open arms and an open heart. We hold each other in our flat open palms like the vibrant desert sand. We may be slipping away slowly, grain by grain but we stand to lose each other faster if we close our fists.

Of course, this is easier said than done because it is human nature to want to possess and change things, people, relationships… It probably takes a lifetime to actually achieve this level of detachment and, for most of us, it comes when it's too late. Personally, I believe that people can belong together for the duration of a relationship or even longer if the connection transcends time and space. But I do not think that we should belong to each other because really, do we even belong to ourselves?