I’m no longer on Facebook and Orkut or any of the other social networking sites. These things stop making sense when you realise that out of the 100 odd people (a paltry figure when compared to most lists) you have as your “friends”, there are just a few that you actually want to be in touch with. And you’re in touch with them via phone or email anyway. So what is the point of having to log on to a networking site to do that?

Of course, there are many who subscribe to the view that I will no longer have an identity in the “real” world and will feel miserably disconnected. It’s funny how the virtual world is now considered real! I would rather travel by the Bombay local trains during peak hours (something I haven’t done in a very long time) than subscribe to that theory. Bring on the catty secretaries, stinky hawkers of everything from cell phone covers to chips, dreamy college kids, stressed out executives, and lecherous men from the general compartment. It just cannot get any more real than that!

So I don’t really care if I miss out on pictures from my friend’s brother’s wife’s cousin’s baby shower. I certainly don’t care that someone who went to the same school as me (10 years after I left) has a purple heart, likes long walks on the beach and has graduated from being “single” to now “in a relationship.” I am happy to be rid of all the mindless schmoozing and snivelling that is indulged in (surprise surprise) mostly by people who have regular jobs. And no, I ain’t falling for that useful networking crap either. Everyone there is either looking to get laid or be noticed. I’m wondering what I was doing there in the first place, since I don’t like sex or attention. And I definitely do not like paying attention during sex… but that’s a whole other story.

Oh… there’s another reason I made myself scarce from these networking sites. I noticed that whenever someone is murdered or found dead for whatever reason, the press is always sniffing about their online profiles. So you have news report filled with drivel about how so-and-so loved sky diving or reading crime novels or eating Chinese food. The press even lifts poor quality pictures of the deceased that are sometimes unflattering (and probably misleading) and prints them endlessly until the story dies a natural death, or until the next time Arbaaz and Malaika pretend to break up or Saif and Kareena have yet another lover’s spat. Let’s also not forget all the morons of the world and their aunts who then inundate the poor dead person’s page with messages such as “Rust in pease. I vl prey 4 ure sole” and “May de holly god punisht de baasterd dat did dis 2 u.”

The thought of my life being summarised from stupid “scraps” and “wall” messages was scary to say the least!

And yes, I do believe I will be murdered. Remember, you heard it here first.