He rings me every month, at least twice. Sometimes, three or four times.
I never answer.
I haven't deleted his number from my phonebook. I've haven't dialled it either.
He rings. I don't answer. He keeps ringing.
It's been over a year now and I don't know if I will ever take that call.
Even if I do, then what do I say?
I don't even remember how it all started...
And when it ended.
Or why?
Or did it really end at all?
I have no idea why he keeps calling.
Sometimes I just wish he would send me a text so that I knew what it was he wanted.
So that I could reply.
If I had a frame of reference, I would respond.
I probably would.
But he just keeps ringing me from that same old number.
He doesn't even try calling from a different number.
With unknown digits, so I'm caught off guard.
I don't think he wants to talk either.
Maybe he just wants me to know that he still remembers.
Or maybe he just wants to see if I'll pick up.
This time.
5 comments:
You know, I have done something similar.
Calling someone, who I knew would never pick the receiver.
Calling from the same number.
I did this just to let the person on the other end know that I cared, cared enough to reach out. But I didn’t change the number because I didn’t have the courage to initiate a conversation. I knew I could have used some other number and caught the other person off-guard but I didn’t , simply cause I lacked the gumption to talk.
I didn’t message because there was nothing to write about.
Me calling from the old number and the other person not picking was a convenient way of letting the person know that I cared but maybe not in the same way as I did earlier.
And from my experience I can tell you that if you don’t pick up the phone anytime soon, these unanswered calls too shall cease.
I stopped calling too !
Did it ever occur to you that if the person wanted to talk, your calls would have been answered? And that by eventually stopping you gave them exactly what they wanted?
I know that but I did what I did to reduce the burden of my guilt.
And by making those calls I thought I was working towards my atonement. I know it doesn’t work that way but it made me feel less bad about myself. I stopped when I thought I had done my bit of saying ‘unheard/unspoken sorry’.
Hmmm... different situations but you've helped me understand what the other person must be thinking.
And you helped me understand that perhaps those cold calls never really conveyed my passive apology. And I was just being a source of nuisance.
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