From mindless thoughts to a thoughtless mind, it's a long journey, and, salvation cannot be reached on speed dial. So you walk the streets at night, alone, searching for yourself. Not the person you used to be but the one that you want to become. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nobody gives you relief. You can run away from the suicidal thoughts inside the tight vault of your own space and turn towards something familiar. But there are walls everywhere, and some of them come up instantly. So you hang around, shoot the breeze and indulge in the inanities of life. Then you take your leave feeling worse than ever before. Life has a way of spitting you out even if it hasn't chewed on you.

You return home and you realise that everyone and their philosophies have a place on that big bookshelf you call life. Some books you turn to every now and then, others sit there for years collecting dust for posterity. Some you've read a long time ago and no longer have access to. So you close your eyes and try thumbing down the hard spine in your dreams. You strive to feel the smoothness of the pages on the surface of your fingertips. You look hard for the words you had once read to now reappear on blank pages. The power of unfinished stories never ceases to amaze you, the hunger they leave behind rages on for an eternity.

All you're looking for in this life is that one defining moment, which you can own. Without preamble or description. One which doesn't make you skip forward to an unknown, tepid future or rewind back to a yellowing, decayed past. All you're really looking for is the chance to shut your eyes, breathe free, let go and take a fall backwards. Knowing that the landing will be smooth, yet not really caring that it might not be. All you're looking for is a single, pristine, unattached moment in which you can only hear the sound of your own heart beating. Unfettered and joy-infused. Unleashed and pain-free. Pulsating, raw and alive.