After all these years of being sexually active and having more than a couple of partners over the years, I finally had a fabulous mind-blowing orgasm only in my mid-30s!

So you see, there is a reason I want to talk about sex. Especially in India, very few people know their own bodies and what to do with them. So they don't really know what to do with someone else's body either. It's a lot tougher for women, because of the way we are built. Most men don't know how to turn a woman on and satisfy her properly, and women are too shy to express how they feel.

Mars and Venus, and everything in between.

Men get turned on easily, they satisfy themselves faster and climax much sooner. Then they switch off and go to sleep! Women need to be aroused in slightly different ways and even if some of them do get turned on quickly, it takes ALL of us much longer and requires different moves to achieve an orgasm. (Unless you're like that freaky chick in Britain who has like 300 orgasms a day!) This is the main reason women lose interest in sex once they get married and have kids. Women would rather not have sex, than just go through the motions and end up dissatisfied. That is the most frustrating feeling in the world!

The Lull...

Some years back, I used to think that it was as good as it got. I never imagined I would ever have another chance at exploring my sexuality, many more opportunities, in fact. So in the last couple of years I've become more in touch with my own body, understanding what it needs and what really works and what doesn't. I've been reading, researching, you can say I have been studying. The more you find out, the more fascinating it is. And then the actual experience of it.

I can't stress enough on the need for sex to have its rightful place in every single relationship out there. Right on top. Yes, it is that important.

I was once naive and silly enough to believe that if you liked the same music and books and movies and spoke the same language, then that was all the relationship you needed. My best sexual experiences have been with two of the most diverse people I have been involved with. One was a fanatic who hated it even if I looked at another man. When I was 22, he wanted me to give up the things that I liked and marry him immediately so that he could change my name and impregnate me with his brood of little brats! But man, was he good in bed or what? And to think that he was a virgin when I met him! The man just had the moves.

The other great lover I had was more recent. He was 10 years younger than me, didn't listen to the same music as me, was crazy about cricket (so was the other guy actually) and generally very different from anyone I have ever dated. He came into my life when I needed him the most and he was the most passionate yet gentle lover I have ever had. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it and when we were together, he made me feel like I had fallen in love for the very first time (cliched as it may sound). It was like sight being restored to the blind, but even better. Because nothing was jarring or harsh after that. It was just crystal clear and fabulous.

So it was after this experience, that I realised I wanted more for myself and that I couldn't go through life without living it completely. Now, I'm mature enough to realise that sex is as much a mental need as it is physical. And I'm also not stupid enough to think that it always has to come attached to the hip with love and romance. I think you can have fabulous sex even if you're not in love with someone, provided of course, you're attracted to them. It's just another way of expressing yourself and communicating with someone else. It's an extremely pleasurable activity that involves all your senses and if done right, can leave you feeling great for days.

I think it's the best kind of pleasure that exists. That feeling when you are having an orgasm, when you're just about to climax and you can feel the current flood your entire body, all your pleasure centres are activated and all that pent up tension is being released and exploding inside your mind.... nothing comes close. Not drugs, not alcohol, not food, not even chocolate! I always want that feeling to last forever, and since I'm a woman I'm lucky enough to be able to replicate it at least a couple of times again, almost immediately ;-)