I'm trying to adjust to my new eye glasses for the second time in a couple of months. The first time there was a marginal error in the right lens (but enough to blur my vision) so they had to be sent back for correction. I collected them this afternoon and have been wearing them ever since. I've been told that it will take me a couple of weeks at the very least until I feel completely comfortable. And what choice do I have? I just have to wear them every single day and let the transition happen at its pace. Irritating as it may be, I think that sometimes things like this are necessary. Too often I tend to side-step sticky situations and experiences that could prove to be less than palatable. Too often I try to skip ahead by avoiding waters that may be too murky or shallow or plain boring even if clear. I think sometimes it's better to just let everything happen to you when it does and deal with the inevitable now when you have the awareness, rather than have it sprung up on you much later when you're far from prepared. And if experience has taught me anything, it's this... Many of the things that seem overwhelming are in effect, just major distractions at best and minor irritants at worst. Like mosquito bites.
So while my eyes adjust to their new vision aids, I think I shall focus on all the good things that have been happening. Let me start with the beginning of this year... In January I reconnected with some of my extended family after a really long time. It was such an exhilarating experience that we kept kicking ourselves for not having done a better job of keeping in touch all these years! I guess we can safely chalk it down to laziness and 'life' getting in the way (I love how we conveniently blame life for getting in the way when it suits us... ha!). But that's the thing with good friends and family, people you have a real connect with, the concepts of time and space just seem to vanish into thin air. You can pick up right where you left off and you're never left wondering why, how, what, who and other unnecessary questions. Anyway, now thanks to instant messaging apps we're doing a much better job of staying connected and wonderfully so! Who knows what the future brings? Today is what matters and from where I stand, today's looking pretty damn good to me!
Earlier this month I met someone extremely special to me, after a gap of 5-6 years. We'd actually reconnected a year ago but it was restricted to a couple of phone calls and text messages. Then there was a lengthy period of silence and I was under the impression that perhaps the damage had been irreparable. But a couple of weeks back I was pleasantly surprised when he called me and made plans to meet. I was quite nervous at first because things had turned quite sour between us when we were last in touch. I almost chickened out and was contemplating cancelling the physical meeting, then circumstances took a different turn and it seemed like we wouldn't meet after all, but eventually after several time and place changes, we did end up meeting. And it just exceeded my expectations! It was too special to even put down in words. You know how some experiences can only be felt and not explained as effectively?
The romantic in me would like to believe that destiny keeps people together but I know that it's so much more than that. Some people are lucky enough to recognize the birth of an inexplicable but powerful force that draws them to another. And they have the courage and gumption to hold on to it steadfastly and with all their might, over the years and miles and through any obstacles that life throws at them. I am not one of the lucky ones and, truth be told, I've suffered as a consequence of this inadequacy. But the one thing I haven't been denied and have been extremely blessed enough to receive is the devotion of one of the lucky ones. It may take years and even decades sometimes, but when someone truly knows you like no other and loves every fibre of your being, you will eventually be transformed and begin to feel this love coursing through your veins. Then nothing matters anymore, not the relationships you are bound by, not the labels unjustly stuck on your forehead, not the mistakes you've made or the thousands of hours you've spent denying them, not even the emptiness that shifts inside your chest. Everything is where it's meant to be and everyone is who they're meant to be. You finally realize that life is exactly what you want it to be. You write the script, you cast the roles, you play the parts, you bring the final curtain down.
The past week or so has been interesting in a way that I haven't experienced before. I feel like the Universe has conspired to place me in the centre of my close circle and let me shine under the spotlight of own being, powered nonetheless by those who truly know and love me. All the conversations and meetings I've had have fortified me with the insight to tap into my much-neglected reserves of courage and confidence and come into my own. Whether it was the fortuitous long cab ride from one end of the city to the other with T, or the early dinner with G, the unexpected phone call last Wednesday morning, the soulful exchanges late into the night with Marmalade, the phone call from H on Monday evening with warm reminisces of our early days as rookie reporters, the words of encouragement from P and H during the week, or the precious messages from my lucky charm through the day... They've all shaken me out of my slumber and placed me back where I belong, at the centre of my Universe and still close enough to continue being the apple of their eyes. Yes, I'm lucky like that! And if all goes well, the luck will continue over the next couple of days and bring me something I really want, need and deserve. Fingers crossed!
So while my eyes adjust to their new vision aids, I think I shall focus on all the good things that have been happening. Let me start with the beginning of this year... In January I reconnected with some of my extended family after a really long time. It was such an exhilarating experience that we kept kicking ourselves for not having done a better job of keeping in touch all these years! I guess we can safely chalk it down to laziness and 'life' getting in the way (I love how we conveniently blame life for getting in the way when it suits us... ha!). But that's the thing with good friends and family, people you have a real connect with, the concepts of time and space just seem to vanish into thin air. You can pick up right where you left off and you're never left wondering why, how, what, who and other unnecessary questions. Anyway, now thanks to instant messaging apps we're doing a much better job of staying connected and wonderfully so! Who knows what the future brings? Today is what matters and from where I stand, today's looking pretty damn good to me!
Earlier this month I met someone extremely special to me, after a gap of 5-6 years. We'd actually reconnected a year ago but it was restricted to a couple of phone calls and text messages. Then there was a lengthy period of silence and I was under the impression that perhaps the damage had been irreparable. But a couple of weeks back I was pleasantly surprised when he called me and made plans to meet. I was quite nervous at first because things had turned quite sour between us when we were last in touch. I almost chickened out and was contemplating cancelling the physical meeting, then circumstances took a different turn and it seemed like we wouldn't meet after all, but eventually after several time and place changes, we did end up meeting. And it just exceeded my expectations! It was too special to even put down in words. You know how some experiences can only be felt and not explained as effectively?
The romantic in me would like to believe that destiny keeps people together but I know that it's so much more than that. Some people are lucky enough to recognize the birth of an inexplicable but powerful force that draws them to another. And they have the courage and gumption to hold on to it steadfastly and with all their might, over the years and miles and through any obstacles that life throws at them. I am not one of the lucky ones and, truth be told, I've suffered as a consequence of this inadequacy. But the one thing I haven't been denied and have been extremely blessed enough to receive is the devotion of one of the lucky ones. It may take years and even decades sometimes, but when someone truly knows you like no other and loves every fibre of your being, you will eventually be transformed and begin to feel this love coursing through your veins. Then nothing matters anymore, not the relationships you are bound by, not the labels unjustly stuck on your forehead, not the mistakes you've made or the thousands of hours you've spent denying them, not even the emptiness that shifts inside your chest. Everything is where it's meant to be and everyone is who they're meant to be. You finally realize that life is exactly what you want it to be. You write the script, you cast the roles, you play the parts, you bring the final curtain down.
The past week or so has been interesting in a way that I haven't experienced before. I feel like the Universe has conspired to place me in the centre of my close circle and let me shine under the spotlight of own being, powered nonetheless by those who truly know and love me. All the conversations and meetings I've had have fortified me with the insight to tap into my much-neglected reserves of courage and confidence and come into my own. Whether it was the fortuitous long cab ride from one end of the city to the other with T, or the early dinner with G, the unexpected phone call last Wednesday morning, the soulful exchanges late into the night with Marmalade, the phone call from H on Monday evening with warm reminisces of our early days as rookie reporters, the words of encouragement from P and H during the week, or the precious messages from my lucky charm through the day... They've all shaken me out of my slumber and placed me back where I belong, at the centre of my Universe and still close enough to continue being the apple of their eyes. Yes, I'm lucky like that! And if all goes well, the luck will continue over the next couple of days and bring me something I really want, need and deserve. Fingers crossed!
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