When you fall in love with someone, you shout it out from the rooftops, make lofty declarations of undying adoration and generally spend your every waking moment trying to get the object of your affection to love you back. Then one day you fall out of love with the same person and you slink away without so much as a whimper. What happens to them? If they loved you back then they're left nursing a broken heart. Even if they didn't reciprocate your feelings, they still wonder what happened to you. The way they wonder about where that stray dog that used to piss on your doorstep has now gone.

When you're trying to befriend someone you admire you use every possible trick in the book to win their affections; you kiss their ass and in turn make an ass of yourself. If it gets you nowhere you move on but sometimes they do notice you and even reciprocate with friendship, for whatever reasons. The problem arises when you expect them to admire you the same way even though you're not one-tenth as good as the corns on their feet. But they obviously don't, so what do you do? Try and worm your way into the lives of people close to them, of course!

When you realise that you're not as popular as you hoped you would be, you plan new strategies to get there. You come up with an advertising campaign to sell yourself. A lot of bang, a lot of buck and you've shouted yourself hoarse. Only it's not as creative as say, the campaigns for Hutch (kid and pug) or even Airtel (express yourself), it's more like Manickchand gutkha. Essentially, that's what you are -- something that people spit out and can really do without -- but you're trying to become something they need and aspire to have. Do you still wonder what went wrong?

Another one from 2003 or 2004. I was such a cynic, wasn't I? Or maybe I had just met too many scumbags. It's never my fault you see!