"I miss you." Too many times I've heard those words being said to me. I may have said them even more than I care to remember. Lately I've been thinking about why we say these words everytime we are disconnected from the people we like, love or are close to. It comes so naturally to us, half the time you don't even know you're going to say it until the words come tumbling out making those feelings and emotions a reality.

I've been thinking about what we really mean when we tell someone we are missing them, and I'm not talking about specific situations or reasons. It's those generic garden variety missing yous that we humans seem to spew at the drop of a hat. I think people, like most things in life, become a habit to us. We get used to them being around more than anything else and when they leave it's just a sudden shift in the routine. How much do we really change when we are no longer in touch with someone? Unless it's something as final as death, our lives don't get as affected as we would like to believe.

I know that each time I talk to Joe over the phone or internet I say I miss you. But then I really don't think about him or actually "miss" him as I go about my daily life. I would miss him for sure if the old gang got together and he were not there and there are times when I wish we were in the same city and could just hang out. The fact is these times don't come around as often as I imagine. We go for weeks, sometimes months, without catching up. And neither of us even realises it until one of us is probably reminded of the other by some external element or factor.

I think about the people I'm no longer in touch with on a daily basis. Some friends I've known for years, some much less. And truth be told, the lack of their physical presence doesn't make that much of a difference. I'm not talking about my fondness and feelings for them, those things remain steady. I'm talking about the actual act of physically missing them. Out of sight can really be out of mind I suppose, rather out of the top of the mind.

What is it that makes us believe we need people as much as we think we do? It makes me wonder about all the times I've thought I missed having people around me or in my life. It makes me wonder whether it was really those individuals I was missing, or the person I was in their company. I think we are constantly re-inventing ourselves with every new contact, each new experience. There are so many levels to reach, so many more layers to us that we can discover through people but only for ourselves. If only we could understand that.

I guess I don't really miss anyone, except the person I was at different points in my life with different people. It doesn't undermine their presence or importance in any way. It just makes my belief in myself stronger I suppose.