Pages

Irony...

is when you make a decent chocolate cake for the person you love the most in the world and everyone eats it and loves it and then you decide that maybe you should keep doing this just for the joy of baking and the happiness it spreads and not to forget the wonderful aromas and the occasional moolah it might bring in and so you think hey let me get serious about this and do it the right way and you take a loan through your credit card and enrol into baking school thinking you will learn how to make the perfect chocolate cake and then you spend days and weeks learning different ways of making breads and biscuits and launch into a serious socio-anthropological study of your own and have a lot of fun along the way and then finally comes a friday when the class schedule for the following week says chocolate cake on tuesday so you dream of the sensuous cocoa and cream all weekend long and then some more excruciating dreaming all of monday and the night and then it's finally tuesday and you wake up with the worst headache of all but you pull yourself together and brave it by not taking a pill because you know that it will only make one of your already weak organs worse so you just go to class and put on your cap and apron and roll up your sleeves and take the ingredients that have been measured and given to you by the dev anand of the institute and then you start making the chocolate cake that you've been waiting for all your life and a short while later you realise that you should have really taken the words if it ain't broken don't fix it seriously because you are now holding in your hands the world's worst chocolate cake ever and it is dry and mealy and sugary sweet and makes you just want to puke and you wonder if it's really 2010 and who in the darkest corners of hell coats a chocolate cake with a mess of margarine and cheap cocoa and icing sugar anymore and if it wasn't for my friend whispering pamela anderson or paris hilton or angelie jolie into my ears everytime he sees the two balls of dough that the teacher uses for the demos of various breads and pastry every other day then i'd drop out of baking school really soon i would i know i would!

The Cloudcutter

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey! Hang in there :)
I hope the headache is gone and the cake disaster binned.
Some things you know better than them and some things you learn from them... Hope the cake making - moolah raking - is going great! -L

The knife said...

don't worry...its the inspiration that counts as I am sure my birthday cake will soon show

mentalie said...

dammit CC, i TOLD you so ages ago! your chocolate cake rocks, their baking lessons suck.
ps: i like the way you rant :)

Pat said...

Ain't it the truth?
Love the heart felt stream of consciousness.
Oh and thanks for the prayer flag. I'd never have guessed.

BlueMist said...

Probably I learnt to value a good cake more when I baked a horrible sounding and tasting cake. Like life. Learning to value blessings over things-not-there.

The Cloudcutter said...

@L - I know, I know. It's just a rant about the chocolate cake.

@Knife - I was miffed because I thought that it would be your birthday cake (since you wanted a small one). So I didn't make you one last weekend and waited till Tuesday! Anyway now you shall have an original G cake, I haven't forgotten :-)

@Mentalie - No babe... the classes are good. Just irritated that we have no control over the ingredients. And I love to rant. Wrote this more for effect than anything else ;-)

@Pat - Thanks! And I can safely say that by now, you know me better than anyone else :-)

@BlueMist - I would appreciate it more too if I made the bad cake first because of my own faults, and then the good cake. Not the other way round. And it's just a rant, don't lecture me please! You should always read my posts with a pinch of salt :-)

BlueMist said...

Oh I am sorry. I did not mean to lecture you. Sorry again.

Himanshu Tandon said...

Hey CC, the good things about Tuesdays is.. that they come every week :)

I shall wait for the pictures that you take of the Chocolate Cake that you bake the coming Tuesday.

The Cloudcutter said...

@BlueMist - Please don't be sorry. I said that in jest. I really should learn how to behave. Going back to school hasn't turned me into a brat, it just lets me act more like one out in the open now... I was always a brat :-)

@Himanshu - Are you serious?
You actually think we make chocolate cake every Tuesday?

Corinne Rodrigues said...

CC - Now we certainly know you can write (like we needed proof!!) and about the baking, we'll just have to take your word for it - the proof is in the tasting, no? ;)

That's the longest 'meaning-making' sentence I've read in my life! You're brilliant!

The Cloudcutter said...

@Corinne - Thanks and I can take a hint... when is your birthday ;-)

Himanshu Tandon said...

No, I didn't mean you would bake a chocolate cake every Tuesday at your class? But don't they give you assignments to do at home? And well, this doesn't seem like something they would tell you not to try at home ;)

Sheer Almshouse said...

Ahh my love.... I know how you feel. I would take a class myself if I had the money. I would learn arabic, french, italian, do some tech photog courses, cook asian, yoga, makeup artistry, painting, textile printing and pottery

Guyana-Gyal said...

Okay, I have to tell you, I had a good laugh, please don't throw that bad cake at me...but anyway, if you do, I'll catch it and gobble it, oink.

Have you thought of writing also for a food mag?

I hope you make looooots of moolah, paisa, dough - ha, that was a pun.

The Cloudcutter said...

@Sheer - I'd like to take some of those classes too but first I want to take an art class and learn how to sketch with charcoal. Also learn Spanish.

@GG - Thank heavens somebody laughed! That's the whole point of a rant anyway. And no I won't throw that sad 1980's institute cake at you. I'll make you better one covered in ganache and hazelnut creme or something like that :D
As for your question on food writing - I think I will answer that in a post. Thank you! I have nothing to blog about these days.