It's funny how you go through the stages of love in the exact opposite direction from a load of dirty linen in your washer.

When you first fall in love, it's exactly like the crazy spin cycle; all topsy-turvy, screaming and buzzing for attention before screeching to a halt. You can't get enough of each other, your hands always touching over the table, your toes always meeting under, and when you're not together your ears are always stuck to the phone and your names on each others lips. Its fast and frenetic pace is enjoyed only by the two of you while the rest of the world watches from the outside waiting to turn the switch off. In the washer, that only happens after the clothes have been soaked, tossed and turned, washed and rinsed to death.

The next stage in love happens exactly like the rinse cycle; slow and rhythmic at times, sometimes dull and droning, and sometimes altogether fast and furious threatening to spin out of control. Then once again it simmers down to that quiet steady rhythm. You know you've reached a plateau, you know everything there is to know about each other's dogs and cats and potted plants. Then one day you glance at the newly-in-love couple at the next table and decide it's time to revive that old magic. So one of you flips thru the latest issue Cosmo or even one back from 1979, it really doesn't matter, while the other calls up an ex-flame for romance revival tips. Now you're good to go but only until you hit the next plateau...

That's when you know you're ready for the wash cycle; the one your favourite bed spread and 3-day old towels go through right at the beginning. It seems quiet and steady at first, fooling you into thinking it's still the rinse cycle. But then the movements that had begun in fits and starts suddenly settle down to such a disturbing silence that you begin to wonder if there is a pulse left at all. You're miles away from the initial roller-coaster ride, there are no more screams and shouts except in your dreams and you wonder when the soap suds began to dissolve. Before you know it, you find yourself in water (sometimes hot) and the squeaky clean days of yore are now just one big tangled mass of dirty linen.

And so you come out the exact opposite of how you went in - all soapy and dripping wet. A far cry from sweet smelling lavender fabric softeners and fluffy dreams fluttering away gently as they dry out on the clothesline.