There are things that turn me on, turn us all on. It could be music, or the way the drapes against your window catch the light during a certain time of day, or a particular shade of colour and how it's been used in a way you haven't seen before. It could be the first sip of a drink you've never tasted before, the way the moistness of food trickles down your fingers or that sudden whiff of a cologne laced with tobacco, it could be the way your toes feel when you walk in the sand or step out of your warm bed on a cold night to tip toe into the bathroom.
Sometimes, it's the memory or thought of someone delicious. When you close your eyes and think about how you always went weak in the knees, or felt your cheeks flush with warmth and excitement. The first one is always someone you can never forget. Mine was tall, gorgeously brown and forbidden. His taut muscles, slightly hairy chest, long fingers, prominent Adam's apple and shapely nose, his high cheekbones and clean shaven face, tight curly hair, luscious lips and crinkly brown eyes - Worked for me every time, and these images still do. His voice just melted into my soul when he sang and played his guitar; I remember staring at him for hours and feeling the words crawl into me. I thought Roberta Flack's Killing Me Softly was written just for us!
I remember walking on the beach late one evening with him. We were lagging behind and got separated from the others for a few minutes. At first, we walked in silence and then suddenly our hands brushed against each other. I could see the sun setting behind him and I'll never forget how he looked in that fading light. We let that moment be the way it was. A couple of nights later, we happened to be alone in a room but there were others just outside.
He walked up behind me and gently placed his fingers on my neck, and I just froze. It was fear and ecstasy all rolled into one. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. I barely managed to meet his eyes when he pulled me close to him and held me for what seemed like infinity. It's the closest I've ever gotten to heaven. It's not just lust, and it's so much more than love. It's that indescribable but utterly palpable effect that one human being can have on another!
When you're 19, you think that you're never going to feel that way again. Life, of course, has a lovely way of surprising you every once in a while :-)
3 comments:
Indeed :)
I so know what you mean. Beautifully put.
That last line has been going around my head all weekend.
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