WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?
Puff the Magic Dragon or Wicked Witch of the East depending on which side of the week we're on.
 
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
The voices in my head.
 
THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Was definitely bad for me! But I did have a healthy breakfast before that...Uhhh who am I kidding?

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Nothing you'd want on your walls, believe me!
 
HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW
The clouds are pissing away to glory. Which is why I'm dishing out this crap.

LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Joe...my best friend, pet dog and punching bag all rolled into one.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Exactly how opposite of my sex he is... No sissy boys for me, thank you very much.

DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS MAIL
If I could remember who sent me this mail, that would be start!
 
FAVORITE SPORTS
Anything that has men in shorts who look like they belong in shorts....all the time!
 
HAIR COLOR?
When? After I succumbed to the fashion police and paid through my nose for someone to actually douse my hair in the most toxic chemicals or before?
 
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I mean really... at least a question like "do you wear underwear?" I can understand.....
 
DO YOU WEAR SPECS.?
...or even "do you wear clean underwear?"
 
FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR?
Anything that doesn't involve moving an inch, waking up early or in-laws (mine and his)!
 
FAVORITE RELAXATION SPOT?
You think I would tell you? It's the first place I'm gonna run to after completing this torturous questionnaire...
 
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Hell no... but why would I ask someone out now? Now asking someone in....hmmmmm
 
SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter? What's that?
 
HUGS OR KISSES?
From whom? Mata Amritanandamayi - the hugging spiritual healer - or Robbie Williams?
 
RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
I mean seriously.... It's like asking "the Pope or Tom Cruise?"
 
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Aw, how boring is that? Haven't you heard of Honeydew Melon with Burnt Ginger and White Chocolate and Blueberry and a twist of Lime? Go to Gelato dude....
 
DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
Friends? What friends? Am I supposed to send this thing to friends? I mean would you really send this to your friends?
 
WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The smart ass who wants to prove he/she is funnier than I am.
 
WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The smart ass who wants to prove that he/she has better things to do than me.
 
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
Hmmmm.... let's just say that they're pretty flexible okay. Anytime an Italian soccer player wants to move in, I can get my flatmate to leave...
 
WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
If I had a book to read would I be answering mindless questionnaires like this?
 
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
How should I know? A bell for the cat maybe?
 
WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
You know what would be more interesting...."Whom did you do last night?" Think about all the possible answers to that question now ;)
 
FAVORITE SMELL
Hmmm... Get me Jude Law in a bottle and I'll tell you

CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
No but I can close my fist and point out my middle finger really well.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
Watching The Simpsons.
 
BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN?
Popcorn? No thank you. But if you tell me there's a tequila n lime flavour
then you're talking!
 
FAVORITE FLOWERS
Anything I don't have to pay through my nose for one day and then fling into the bin the next day, or have the thought of someone else flinging them into the bin... In other words, anything that's FREE.
 
FAVORITE ANIMAL
Get me Robbie Williams on a chain and I'll tell you.... ;)
 
WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDATE?
Whaaat? You don't know? It's the one day you celebrate, whether I invite you to my party or not!
 
WHO SENT U THIS MAIL?
The person who didn't know any better!