... turned a year older and probably a whole decade wiser.
... done something that I NEVER imagined I would. NEVER.
... realised how unfair I have been to myself in the last decade.
... decided to get back at the miserable fucks who've messed around with me.
... unearthed the mystery of the family curse.
... become the object of affection of several "unavailable men", as A&K put it.
... thanked my stars every day that these men are unavailable :-)
... finally begun to notice you. Hello!