Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

What is it about buffet tables that make us all turn into gluttonous goons? The amount of food we pile on to our plates is not only more than we can digest, it's sometimes enough to feed a mid-sized African nation! Even the lightest of eaters can be seen making a beeline for the buffet like it's soon going to go out of style. I guess it’s the idea of free food. Sure, you do pay a certain amount per plate but it’s not much compared to all the stuff you can actually wolf down. It’s the idea of ending up with so much more than you’re paying for, the idea of getting more bang for your buck. Buffets can also be fun places to watch the different kinds of gluttons at work. The next time you’re at one, look out for any or all of these:

The Must-have-it-all Gluttons
These are the people who think they have entered a binding legal contract with the management of the hotel to not only sample everything at the buffet counter, but to also try and finish it off! They probably turn their noses up at the sight of fried brinjals at home but here they just “must have it”.

The Selective Gluttons
This breed of gluttons home in on a particular item and spend the entire evening attacking it like it’s soon going out of production. So they end up eating enough garlic bread and lamb lasagna to feed half the population of Italy.

The Saturated Gluttons
These are the people who think the restaurant doesn’t have enough crockery and are afraid the counters will wind up before they’ve had their fill. So they go on to pile their dessert plates with ice cream and chocolate sauce and strawberry sauce and orange sauce and caramel custard and gulab jamuns and black forest cake with a cherry on the top.

The Refined Gluttons
They’re gluttons all right, just a little polished. They may want to go at the ice cream with hammer and tongs but they’ll do it in style. So the first trip to the dessert counter will get them vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce, the second trip will have vanilla ice cream (again) with chocolate sauce and chopped nuts and cherries, the third time their plate will be with vanilla ice cream (yes, again), this time accompanied with 50 maraschino cherries.

The Break Gluttons
This is the most glorious breed of all, they are a combination of all of the above and actually strive to eat as many things on the menu as they can and as much of each. And since it’s humanly impossible (most of the time at least) to maintain a continuum, they spike their marathon eating session with convenient little breaks. So even though each time you glance in their direction you see a lot of talking, looking around, and messaging on their phones, you can be sure they’re going to go through the entire buffet before they leave. From the cold, bland tomato soup with limp croutons to the ghee and sugar melange… oops I mean carrot halwa.

I know which category I fit into…what about you?