The years creep up on us as I continue rummaging through the dusty attic of my mind. Looking for words, looking for release, hoping the very things that fuse us together will eventually blow us apart. I want to get my fingers on them and caress them, infuse life and the dregs of my tainted love into them, and then I want to bequeath them all to you. 

Words. Words that have never been spewed before, neither from the fount nor the stream, forceful and clear, pristine and pure. Mesmerizing like the cubes of ice that succumb to the vodka laced with lime on a night when it’s too hot to escape dreams. Comforting as the sight of my little boy nestled in the crook of your arm on a day when I realize that he has your eyes and my lips. Brilliant like the inside of your brain as it lights up against mine during the tug of war where I let go and then so do you.

I’m looking for words that will roll off my tongue and drape the contours of your being where they belong. The way the crescent moon punctuates the twilight, hanging delicately in the sky like the glowing white tips of a French manicure. But what if they never come to me? What if I run out of time, and worse, what if you reject them even if I do find them? I know you’d rather sleep with the deathly silence than make love to the quiver on my lips. I know you’d rather not reveal a single feeling and confine me to the same retribution. You seem to forget though that when it comes to us, silence can be the death knell that will eventually shut us down. It was words that brought us together and perhaps someday, in a cruel twist of fate, it’s the words that will unhook us from each other.

So until then I’d like to borrow the words you’ve written, not for me but for everyone else. Words that have never belonged to me yet rendered me breathless and gasping for more. I don’t know anyone else who has the power to do that to me, my beautiful breathtaking wordsmith. Go back to everything you’ve ever written and unhinge the words from the lines. Sip on them slowly or guzzle them all in one big gulp, but use them to wash over the part of you that I crave to touch. Then come back to me and kiss me mercilessly, just like you did the very first time.