Who do you really fall in love with? Is it the person in
front of you with the unique DNA and a past that has no memory of you? Perhaps
a future that doesn’t include you too? Is it the person that spends hours away
from you being someone who escapes your imagination? Or is it really the
person you want them to be? The person you see yourself loving until the end of
time, or until you run out of fuel, whichever comes first? The one that exists
only in your imagination; composed of all those little parts of you that you
can no longer contain… All the extra bits that don’t quite fit in because you
think you’re not good enough or strong enough or beautiful enough or
intelligent enough or simply not deserving enough.
So you take all those odds and ends and keep saving them,
over the years you try them on for size on everyone you meet. Some fit into
place instantly and some just fall out and land right back into your hands.
Then one day you think you’ve found that perfect person to safely deposit your
precious pieces into. You gently and lovingly feed them a piece of you every
day until they appear to be the epitome of your desires – A perfect vision born
out of the spark of your dreams and your incessant bargaining with the universe
to see them to fruition.
So, who have you really fallen in love with now? The person who
will unintentionally but eventually break your heart someday, when you finally realize
that some dreams are fragile and can only be contained by desire? Or was it
just the best version of the person you’ve always wanted to be? In the end,
it’s just pieces of your own soul adorning a mannequin. The love is just an
excuse to validate your own deep-seated desires.
4 comments:
The perfect conundrum, do I love him or just the version of him I've built up in my head. Sigh. You write beautifully, I think I haven't told you that often enough. Also, it's so nice to now have a face and name to go with the blog :) just saw the bio, I hadn't seen it in a while. Thank you, Gia, for writing the way you do.
Thank you Rini, for still reading and reaching out :-) Glad you like it. I wish you would write more too. I've noticed that you haven't blogged in a while. Btw I recently wrote a couple of posts in Hindi. Yeah, I know... I surprised myself too but it's just something I always wanted to do and never thought I would be able to. Anyway it's not great writing or even good, average at best. And my vocabulary is very poor but I think I've managed to express what I wanted to say. Read if you feel like and let me know what you think.... They're the last 3 posts before this one.
How can you write like this? Means seriously?! you are a diva in more sense than one and whatever I attempt to say here as compliment is going to sound so inadequate. G, you are a treasure and I am so glad I have you.
T, I write because it's the only thing in the world that makes me feel like me. And you're one of the few people who get that. Spare me the compliments and just give me the love. Thank you for calling this raddi your treasure. Kisses.
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